July 2025
Parenting is hard. Parenting a child who has experienced trauma, loss, or disruption, like many children who come to families through adoption, is even harder. It often means navigating behaviors that don’t make sense at first glance, advocating in systems that feel overwhelming, and giving emotionally in ways that feel endless. It’s no wonder so many adoptive parents feel stretched thin, emotionally exhausted, or even isolated. And yet, so often, when you do recognize that you need help or a break, guilt shows up to greet you.
You may hear that inner voice whisper:
“Leaving and coming back will make things worse.”
“Other families have it worse.”
“You chose this…don’t complain.”
“Your child needs you…how can you take time for yourself?”
But here’s the truth:
You matter too.
Why Support Isn’t Just Helpful—It’s Essential
Adoptive parenting is a marathon, not a sprint. You can’t run on empty. Just like our children need regulation, connection, and repair, we do too. When you take time to get support, whether that’s a support group, therapy, a KPARC retreat, or even a trusted friend who “gets it,” you’re not being selfish. You’re modeling for your child what healthy relationships and boundaries look like. You’re also building your capacity to keep showing up when things get hard.
The Guilt of Needing a Break—and Why You Can Let It Go
Let’s name it: many adoptive parents carry guilt for wanting space. It’s common, especially if you’re parenting a child with high needs or a tough trauma history. Taking a break may feel like abandoning your post, especially when you know your child’s history includes loss or instability. But stepping away doesn’t mean you don’t love them. It means you’re tending to the part of you that needs care so you can continue to love well. Breaks aren’t signs of weakness; they’re signs that you are human.
Even small moments of rest can be powerful:
- Sitting in the car for 10 quiet minutes after drop-off.
- Letting someone else handle bedtime once in a while.
- Spending an hour in nature or curling up with a favorite book.
- Attending one of our quarterly KPARC retreats or a weekend getaway that fills your soul.
You are allowed to breathe. You are allowed to step back. You are allowed to be more than a caregiver – you are a whole person.
You’re Not Alone—And You Shouldn’t Have to Be
Support is out there. Whether it’s through a post-adoption program, a therapist who understands trauma, or a retreat like the ones we host through KPARC, help is available, and you deserve it. You matter, not just as a parent, but as a person.
So, take that break. Ask for help. Let go of the guilt. You are worthy of support, rest, and renewal, because healing happens in community, not in isolation.