Reintegration, the return of a child in foster care to their birth family, is often the ultimate goal within the foster care system. While it can sometimes feel bittersweet for foster and kinship families who have poured their hearts into caring for a child, understanding and actively supporting this goal is crucial for the child’s well-being and the healing of the family.
So, how can foster and kinship families effectively support the case plan goal of reintegration? It starts with a shift in perspective and a willingness to embrace collaboration.
Shared Parenting: Building a Bridge, Not a Wall
The concept of “shared parenting” in foster care can be initially daunting. It’s about recognizing birth parents as valuable partners in their child’s life, even while they’re working to address the concerns that led to foster care placement.
Here’s what shared parenting can look like in practice:
• Open Communication: Encourage and facilitate communication (within appropriate boundaries set by the caseworker) between the child and their birth parents. This might involve phone calls, letters, or video chats.
• Visitation Support: Help prepare the child emotionally for visits and provide a safe and supportive environment for them to process their feelings afterwards. Offer transportation to and from visits if needed and approved.
• Sharing Information: Keep birth parents informed about the child’s progress, milestones, and daily life. Share photos, artwork, and school reports to help them feel connected.
• Involving Birth Parents: Whenever possible, involve birth parents in important decisions about the child’s life, such as medical appointments, school events, or extracurricular activities. This demonstrates respect and helps them retain their parental role. Engage in conversation regarding challenges and wins with the child in your home and how they would like to address these.
Embracing Imperfection: Recognizing the Journey of Change
It’s vital to understand that birth parents don’t need to be “perfect” to regain custody of their children. They are likely working through significant challenges, and change takes time and effort. Holding them to unrealistic standards or expecting them to mirror our own parenting styles will only hinder their progress and the reintegration process.
Instead, focus on:
• Recognizing Effort: Acknowledge and validate the steps birth parents are taking to address the concerns that led to placement. Even small steps forward are significant.
• Empathy and Compassion: Understand that birth parents may be struggling with addiction, mental health issues, transgenerational trauma, poverty, or trauma. Approach them with empathy and understanding, recognizing that these challenges can impact their parenting.
• Differing Parenting Styles: Accept that birth parents may have different parenting styles than you do. As long as the child’s safety and well-being are ensured, respect their right to parent according to their own values and beliefs. Respectfully look at moments as opportunity for collaboration and teaching
The Reward of Reintegration
Supporting reintegration can be challenging, but it’s ultimately a rewarding experience. Witnessing a family reunite and thrive is a powerful reminder of the resilience of the human spirit. By embracing shared parenting, understanding the complexities of birth parent journeys, and prioritizing the child’s safety, foster and kinship families can play a vital role in helping children return home and build a brighter future. Remember, you are a vital piece of the puzzle, helping to build a bridge back to family.