Can we just admit that October is basically the Monday of the holiday season? Leaves are turning, pumpkins are everywhere, and the holiday countdown has officially begun.
For those of us who work in or around adoption, October usually brings a different kind of energy. It’s the official lead up to November and all that comes with National Adoption Month. It is a time when adoption often takes center stage on social media, in news stories, at community events, and in conversations across the world.
There will be hashtags. There will be adoption stories. There will be beautiful family photos, celebrations, awareness campaigns, and plenty of opportunities to talk about the importance of permanency and family.
But before we step into National Adoption Month, October is a good time to pause and think about how we are going to talk about adoption.
Start by Listening.
Adoption is not one simple story. It is made up of many different experiences, perspectives, emotions, and relationships. If you want to understand adoption, start with the people who have lived it. Find an adoptee-led podcast and listen to an episode. Follow an adult adoptee on Instagram or TikTok. Read a birth parent’s story. Spend some time listening to perspectives that may be different from your own. And don’t just look for the stories that are easy to hear. Listen to the happy moments, but also listen to the difficult ones and the complicated ones. You might come across something that challenges your perspective on adoption. You might hear an experience that challenges something you previously believed. You might even find yourself saying, I never thought about it that way.
That’s okay.
We’re not always going to understand every experience, and we don’t have to. Sometimes learning starts with simply being willing to listen.
Adoption is about people, not just permanency.
Permanency matters. Families matter. Children deserve safety, stability, and the opportunity to grow up surrounded by people who are committed to them. But adoption is also connected to loss, identity, history, relationships, and lifelong questions. We can celebrate the families created through adoption while still acknowledging that adoption can be complicated. We can be excited for a child finding a permanent family while remembering that their story did not begin on the day they were adopted. We can support adoptive families while making space for adoptee and birth-family voices. Those ideas can exist together.
So, before October comes to an end and National Adoption Month officially begins, take a little time to prepare – not just your social media posts, but yourself. It doesn’t have to be just about posting more, it can be about understanding more. And maybe that’s the best way to step into it.
Here’s your October challenge:
Find 3 new voices connected to adoption and listen to what they have to say.