September is National Kinship Care Month — a time to pause and recognize the powerful role kinship families play in the lives of children. Across Kansas and beyond, grandparents, aunts, uncles, siblings, and close family friends step forward when children cannot remain safely with their parents. They open their homes and their hearts, often unexpectedly, and provide stability, love, and belonging.
Kinship caregiving is a story of triumph, but also one of challenge. Families celebrate the joy of children thriving, while also navigating the grief of strained family relationships, financial pressures, and the complexities of parenting children who have experienced trauma. These triumphs and struggles are not separate from the family system — they are deeply tied to relationships with the child’s parent, who is also the caregiver’s family member. This makes the journey of kinship care uniquely layered with love, loyalty, loss, and resilience. To better understand these experiences, we look to the work of Dr. Joseph Crumbley, who identified five pillars of kinship caregiving: Happiness, Hope, Success, Pride, and Commitment. These pillars highlight the strengths caregivers demonstrate every day, while also naming the challenges they face. Importantly, each strength exists alongside deep emotional realities connected to family ties. This month, we are sharing a five-part reflection — one post for each pillar — to honor both the triumphs and the struggles of kinship families.
As we lift up these pillars of Happiness, Hope, Success, Pride, and Commitment, we honor the full picture of kinship caregiving: the victories and the heartbreak, the stability and the sacrifice, the love and the loss. Kinship caregivers embody courage by stepping into roles they never expected, navigating family dynamics that are both complicated and deeply personal, and choosing to love children unconditionally.
This Kinship Care Month, we want every caregiver to know: We see you. You are not alone.
Happiness
Happiness in kinship care often comes in the small, everyday moments — hearing a child’s laughter, seeing them finally feel safe enough to play, or watching them discover something new. But happiness is layered. Many caregivers carry grief at the same time — grief that the child’s parents, often their own son, daughter, or sibling, could not provide safety. There is sadness for the child’s losses, and sometimes strained or painful dynamics with relatives who are still part of the family story. Happiness in kinship care is never simple; it’s a hard-earned joy that exists alongside sorrow and complicated family ties.
This Kinship Care Month, we honor the resilience it takes to hold joy and pain together in the context of family. We see you. You are not alone.”*
Hope
Hope keeps kinship families going. It’s what helps caregivers believe that children can heal from trauma, that relationships can be restored, and that the future can be brighter. But hope is also tested by the reality that the child’s parents — often their own child, sibling, or close relative — are struggling. Caregivers may grieve as they watch loved ones battle addiction, mental health issues, or cycles of instability, and disappointment can weigh heavily when promises are broken. Still, caregivers choose to hope, not just for the child, but also for the family member they love.
This Kinship Care Month, we recognize the courage it takes to hold hope for both children and relatives.
Success
Success in kinship care often looks different than it does for other families. It might be a child finally sleeping through the night, getting through a school day without a meltdown, or showing affection after months of withdrawal. These are victories worth celebrating. Yet success is constantly measured against the heartbreak of watching a child’s parent — their own relative — continue to struggle or drift away. For caregivers, every success with the child is meaningful, but it can also highlight the losses in the wider family system.
This Kinship Care Month, we celebrate every step forward while honoring the grief that exists alongside it.
Pride
Pride runs deep in kinship care. Caregivers take pride in providing safety, in helping children grow, and in knowing they stepped up when it mattered most. But pride can be complicated when family dynamics are involved. Grandparents may feel shame that their own child could not parent. Siblings may feel judged for raising a brother or sister’s child. Extended relatives may question or criticize the caregiver’s decisions. Pride exists, but it often wrestles with painful family dynamics and self-doubt.
This Kinship Care Month, we honor the pride caregivers deserve and name the challenges they carry in silence.
Commitment
Commitment is the foundation of kinship care. It means choosing to love and protect children, even when it requires personal sacrifice. For many, that commitment means raising a grandchild instead of enjoying retirement, or stepping in for a sibling when no one else could. This commitment can strain relationships within the family — some relatives may be angry, absent, or resentful, while others may be grateful but unable to help. Caregivers carry the weight of holding the family together while also meeting the needs of the child.
This Kinship Care Month, we honor the steadfast devotion kinship caregivers bring to their families.